"I need to remember that more often...maybe if I remember it more, He wouldn't feel the need to remind me as often!!"~~Brenda
This was part of a little conversation that Makenzie and I had just recently at work. I was having a bad day. I didn't feel well, with a migraine and vomiting. I was just complaining to her and she listened like a champ! What she said inspired this blog post. I made me think of all the trials I have been through and how strong the Lord is making me. It also made me wonder if I was getting everything I could out of all the trials. If I was learning all the lessons the Lord wants to teach me. If I was not only enduring these trials, but enduring them well. I stopped smoking weed 11 months ago. I know a lot of you may be hearing this for the first time, and others may already know this. Sorry if I have disappointed you in anyway. I have been working very hard to get back to this point in my life. In the 11 months since I have quit, I believe, no, I KNOW, that I have made leaps and bounds to get to this point.
In the beginning, days, hours, minutes, even seconds were hard, many of them I was unsure that I would ever get through them. I had, and still have a great support system. I quit shortly after Laura left for Oregon. I stayed with Shari for a few months. Those days neither of us knew what to expect. When I passed 30 days, I was shocked. I didn't think it was possible...then came 60 days and then 90 days! Wow, I was making pretty good progress. As I said I was living with Shari and I had felt like a burden, even though Shari told me I wasn't, it was my own feelings and concerns. I was working with my doctor and with a counselor and ended up staying in the psych ward at the hospital for about 13 days. After I got out, Shari and I made a plan that I needed to find a job and a place within 2 weeks. I had no other option. I know that I needed to do this. So I got on it, and I found this job and a place to live so quickly that I knew it was the work of the Lord. Going to my new ward, this was confirmed. My bishop works in a drug rehab facility, he knew exactly what I needed and how to help me. Also, my new job confirmed that the Lord has His hand in my life. The job was something that I loved and something that I was looking for. I love data entry and that is exactly what I was doing. It was so nice. It also worked out somehow that I was able to go with Gerrad to take Jorden and Kayla back to Arizona. I was able to see the my family before I got settled in a job and started working/living.
I worked with my bishop on the repentance process, making sure that I attended church every week, paid my tithing, etc. I wanted to learn about the simple principles of the gospel, because I felt that living the way I had been before, I had forgotten a lot. I worked on understanding faith, repentance, forgiveness, and baptismal covenants. My bishop has given me great council and has been very patient with me. We have had many conversations about the Lord and His love for me. He has given me many priesthood blessings that have helped lift my spirits and given me the strength to continue on. I finally got to 6 months sober and was able to return to the Temple to do baptisms for the dead. The first time I went was on Dec. 7, 2010. I was able to do family names. I did my grandmother, great- grandmother and other women on my fathers side and a couple women from my mom's side. It was an incredible experience. I went with my friend Shari. It was so peaceful. When they read my grandmothers name and dunked me I came up and I could feel her give me a hug. I knew she had been waiting. When they read my great-grandmothers name and dunked me I could see her smile and just shake her head and shake her finger saying my dad's name. It's a funny, inside family story, and you know I wouldn't have expected anything else from her. It was very touching. Knowing all I had been through and how hard I had worked to get to that point, even though I had done baptisms in the past when I was a teenager and when I was active before, this one was special. I had a connection with these people. I am thankful for that opportunity to help them to make those covenants that they were unable to do here on earth. Til next time...me
I worked with my bishop on the repentance process, making sure that I attended church every week, paid my tithing, etc. I wanted to learn about the simple principles of the gospel, because I felt that living the way I had been before, I had forgotten a lot. I worked on understanding faith, repentance, forgiveness, and baptismal covenants. My bishop has given me great council and has been very patient with me. We have had many conversations about the Lord and His love for me. He has given me many priesthood blessings that have helped lift my spirits and given me the strength to continue on. I finally got to 6 months sober and was able to return to the Temple to do baptisms for the dead. The first time I went was on Dec. 7, 2010. I was able to do family names. I did my grandmother, great- grandmother and other women on my fathers side and a couple women from my mom's side. It was an incredible experience. I went with my friend Shari. It was so peaceful. When they read my grandmothers name and dunked me I came up and I could feel her give me a hug. I knew she had been waiting. When they read my great-grandmothers name and dunked me I could see her smile and just shake her head and shake her finger saying my dad's name. It's a funny, inside family story, and you know I wouldn't have expected anything else from her. It was very touching. Knowing all I had been through and how hard I had worked to get to that point, even though I had done baptisms in the past when I was a teenager and when I was active before, this one was special. I had a connection with these people. I am thankful for that opportunity to help them to make those covenants that they were unable to do here on earth. Til next time...me
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