One Year Anniversary

Today I celebrated my one year anniversary of being clean and sober from drugs. It was an interesting day of mixed feelings. I was happy, definitely happy that I had made it. I was sure that I would never make it this far. I was also full of humility, knowing that I did not make it this year on my own. The Lord helped me the most in those moments when I was alone, scared, hurting, full of anger, and on the edge of giving up. I had so much help from so many other people. Shari has been a huge help, from moments when I knew I need to reach out and I would text her and simply ask, tell me it's going to be okay, or tell me not to freak out. She would talk me through it. She was there to help me see things clearly when my emotions would get in the way. Laura helped by being my best friend, understanding what it was like when I wanted to get loaded so much, and sometimes talking through some of the times we were loaded were enough to make me not want it. My Bishop has been so understanding, listening to me cry every week about something I just didn't understand. He also helped with helping me to re-learn some of the gospel principles that I had forgotten over the years, some that I even never really understood at all. I was probably asking him some questions that primary children asked and understood. Yet, he has been so patient with me and has really helped me to understand these principles.
 I know with being in AA or in the LDS 12-Step Program they suggest you go to meetings everyday. I was able to attend 90 meeting in 90 days, but then when I got a job and moved out of Shari's house it was a lot harder to get to meetings. I also never got a full time sponsor, I relied upon my doctor, my bishop, Shari, Laura and some other close friends. I suggest that if you can make it to a meeting everyday that you do it. I suggest that if you don't have a sponsor that you get one as soon as possible, and to talk to that sponsor everyday. I think I caused myself a lot more pain and misery through this past year by NOT having a sponsor and by not going to meetings. I made it to a meeting at least once a month. It made me realize how important they are. And how much I should make more of an effort to go. Work the program, let it help you. Take the suggestions, they are there for a reason.
I still can't believe that a whole year has passed since I have used drugs. I try to wrap my head around it and still I am filled with such humility. I feel such a peace in my heart and so much gratitude for what the Lord has done for me not only in this last year, but in my whole life. I know that I am growing and progressing. I know that if I keep choosing the right and continuing on the path that I am. Listening to the still small voice in my heart that I will continue to grow closer to my Heavenly Father and my brother Jesus Christ.

I want to take the opportunity to bear my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that I am a daughter of God and that He has a special plan for me. I know that I have a mission here on earth and that I will not only endure it but try with all my might to endure it well. It took a lot for me to get to this point and I am glad that I have learned from all my trials the things I have learned. I have learned perseverance, patience, humility, still learning faith. I have learned how to rely on others and how to give service to others. I have learned gratitude. Gratitude is a huge one, I have so much gratitude for SO many people in my life, if I could sit here and name them all it would take me an eternity. So many people from my past and from the present time have touched my life, have never given up on me. I think of them daily and they are in my prayers. Their prayers and their love that they have shown me, even if it was for a very short time have truly touched my my life and have made a difference. I don't know how to express the amount of gratitude that I have for them for all the people in my life that I know the Lord has put there. Thank you would never suffice, but Thank you is all that I can do on here. In my life I can help other people and do what I can to make someone else's' life better. I know that we have a living prophet here on earth to lead and help us to progress and make it back to the Lord. I know that the scriptures are true. I have read them and prayed for conformation of the truth of them. I believe with all my heart that we are all children of God and that He wants all of us to return to Him. I am so glad that I am member of The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. It brings so much joy to my life and lets me know where I came from and where I am going. It gives me a purpose in everyday life. I want everyone I meet to know that they are loved and that they are someone special. Everyone should feel loved. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.