Sleep is Eluding Me...

Can't sleep right now...really should be though...so many thoughts and scenarios keep running through my mind. Stuff that I really have no control over, yet I sit here and over-analyze the what-ifs. They aren't all bad what-ifs...some could be quite delightful...but entertaining those ideas is a waste...if it doesn't happen then I am disappointed. I set myself up for failure to much in my life. I need to learn to just let things happen like they are meant to happen. The only thing I can control is me and my effort that I put into myself to be true to myself and be the best me! I am still doing school, and I think the person that is most surprised about this is me. I new when I started school that I WANTED to finish, but subconsciously thought that it would last a few months then I would get bored and move on. I did get the itch to do just that, but needed to be my own cheerleader to continue and not talk about quitting. I am proud that I have come this far...
I really don't have a point to this blog...this is more for myself.

"A Case of You" Cover by Jake Walden....

Once again, Jake Walden has shared something so very special. Take a moment and watch, listen…. Hopefully his music will touch you in a very special way and you will seek out and embrace all that he has to give. Once you do, you will know, at that moment that he is like no other…..

Please share this with your friends…. with love.

In Jake’s words ~ “A Case of You”

There are few songs that remain constants for me. This song is for my Mom who's birthday is this week. A Case of You along with so many Joni songs have been the bridge between us and helped in growing our friendship throughout my adult life. Blue, the album this is off of was a seminal piece of work in my Mom's life, and luckily it became the same for me. There really are no words to say how much this song means to me, as a writer, a singer and a hopeless romantic. I find it's meanings to be endless and I hope in this little moment, in that tiny room with that old microphone I was able to capture just that.

Peace, Jake

Something new...but something familiar.....

I have been thinking a lot about opposition and how in almost everything it is pretty much guaranteed....we all have moments of joy...moments of sadness...Opposition is in all things...to know the joy of a moment, means you'll have to face the sorrow of another...the sorrow won't always be upon us, so fully cherish joy before it is to late....

I have been really focusing or being more aware of how each moment affects my day or affects my feelings...and trying to be more appreciative for both sides of opposition...my joy is more joyful, knowing it comes back again and again.
After a full day, I reflect back on the day and most of the time I tend to see the "crappy" part/s of the day...what made me angry, what frustrated me, what mad me sad. I have been really making an effort to recall either before or after that "crap" moment, a moment that made me smile, or made me laugh, brought up a happy memory...seeing my kitten Maizee pounce on Sid, watching kids playing, seeing a tv show from when I was a kid, laughing with my best friend, hearing music that means a lot to me...it always turns out that there is so many moments of happiness, or joy, or laughter! It changes my whole lookout...the next day it is easier to just let the frustrations go....I think, "is someone driving way to slow for me really going to matter in my overall life? When I am 88 and sitting with my grandkids, and I going to tell them how frustrating the rude waiter was at dinner that one night in 2009? No, and it is so nice to know that...remembering how my cats would play, or how much fun Lo and I can have over some tasty fast food and late night re-runs! How much fun it is to jump on the trampoline with the kids instead of being frustrated that there is a mess in the kitchen that should be cleaned...

For me I know that there are going to be rough times, and stuff that I can't just brush off...stuff that will have to be faced, but I know that I am strong enough to get through anything that comes my way. I am capable of so much and I KNOW that! I also know that I don't have to go through any of this alone, I will always have support from those who love me...and I have come to realize that there are a LOT of people who love me. I am one lucky person. Take a look at the people in your life and you will find that you have a whole spectrum of people who love you!

I didn't mean for this to go on this long...I just wanted to give you an update on where I am in life!! Things are good, still in school, still in beautiful Oregon, still going strong! Thank you to all of the people that are in my life and mean so much to me...you know who you are...and if you are unsure just send me a message and I will tell you!

ONE MILLION STRONG....

You all already know that I love this man! well, both of them! Jake's music is mostly ballads that are raw and emotional. For me they give me hope and say what I don't have words for. He is incredibly genuine and the music comes from his heart and soul. Obviously you can tell I am very passionate about him. Go to his MySpace and listen to his songs. I would recommend one... Read More specifically to listen to, but I love them all it is hard to choose...although I am really into "We Are" right now. His video for that is on his MySpace page too. Here is the link... http://www.myspace.com/jakewalden
Enjoy and let me know what you think. Matt I haven't meet, but I have heard his songs and they are just as beautiful. They are very soothing and just beautiful. Check them both out. It is worth a few minutes to listen to them. Here is Matt's link...http://www.myspace.com/mattalber


http://www.facebook.com/inbox/readmessage.php?t=1132692411278&f=1&e=-12#/event.php?eid=107432679899&ref=nf

"Hope is the dream of a man awake." --French Proverb

It's been a while since I have written anything on here...or much on my other blog. I have been reflecting a lot lately and have had to make some difficult decisions, well they should have been easy, they were the right things to do, but still I was afraid of the changes and challenges that would be coming my way...I am finally on a path that is moving forward in my life...and it feels good...some moments are scary...but most moments are joyful. I am seeing life with new eyes and a new attitude, and whatever comes my way, I will embrace it, learn from it, and seek what is right. Throughout this past few weeks I have been blessed with many people that have made my life brighter and have given me hope to keep going...hope is a beautiful thing and such a precious gift. I also believe that hope can come in many ways from many people. I have learned and felt hope from those in my life in different ways at different times...sometimes even at the same time. Laura is my rock and my guardian angel. She knows what I am capable of and she makes me see that...it may take her a while for it to get through my thick head, but she doesn't give up. She believes in me and makes me want to be a better person. She gives me hope on a daily basis as I see what she goes through and how she makes her life happy....even with all the stresses that she deals with...she gives me the hope of having the scary moments few and far between with millions of side-splitting, crying induced moments of laughter....we can be as silly as 4 year olds and that is sometimes all you need to make your day brighter...I love Laura and I think that we have a very special relationship. We are family by blood, sisters by heart and most of all best friends of the soul. I wish everyone could experience the way we are together...through the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the silly, the scary, the joy and the pain...Loovveee Yooouuu! :) Recently in my life, I would say in the last year, there have been some new people to my life...most I have felt I have known my whole life...some I have been searching for my whole life without even really knowing it. Most of you know about Jake Walden by now...and if you don't you should. He is amazing. Jake has become such a dear friend. It is amazing how so much of what I feel inside and never knew how to say the words. I think that everyone that has read anything from Jake, heard his music, or been in the same room with him understands what I am talking about. He is a giver of hope to follow your dreams without fear, to be brave and vunerable, to share yourself with others and to BE YOU, and that is is ok to just be you...through Jake I have meet so many others that I am proud to call my friends....