In LA...

I have started this blog post many times...but it just hasn't felt right...the right words haven't come, the right feeling seems to be just beyond my grasp, yet I long to write, I crave the feelings and emotions to be written before my eyes, to solidify the truths, the strengths, the heartache, the laughter, the love and all that was in LA. Why is it so hard to write this...when I write it; it seems to break the spell of of blissfulness and joy that shined in my heart and life while in LA.
LA...what a weekend that was in LA. A night that went above and beyond anything I have ever experienced before. Jake Walden played his last show of the year at The Hotel Cafe in LA. What a spectacular show it was. People, fans of Jake, came from all over the world. From Hungry to Chicago, and New Jersey to Washington. It was such a special night for all involved. It is hard to put into words all that was felt for me. I was already emotional before I even saw Jake, before the hello's and before the hugs. Oh How I have missed those hugs! As like the many times before there is a feeling of comfort, peace and hope that fills my being whenever I am able to spend time with Jake. It was so so lovely to meet Katie! Katie is Jake's amazingly beautiful sister! She is so adorable and in so many ways like Jake, and in so many ways just as wonderful as Jake has told me she would be. I am so glad that she made the trip to LA.

I was especially happy that the show was at The Hotel Cafe. This is the one place that I have wanted to see Jake perform. Since the first time that I had heard of Jake, the Hotel Cafe has been a constant. It felt as if being there hearing and seeing Jake perform there was right, it was so right. They just go together. I had been looking forward to a time when I would see him up there on the stage and able to watch all the people that adore Jake, that look up to him, that "see" him for who he is and 'gets' him. I never thought that it would happen, but I saw it, I knew that it would happen. I wrote this the night of the performance..."Jake's performance tonight was so beautiful. He held so much emotion on his face that I don't think that there was a dry eye in the place. He of course sang some select few from the album, 'Alive and Screaming'(which is available on iTunes.) Bonnie Somerville came up on stage and sang 'Bleeding Love' with Jake. It was so breathtaking. Jake also sang two new songs...one for his beautiful sister Katie. The song brought me to tears, the relationship between Jake and Katie is so unique and beautiful. Those two are so connected. It is so amazing to see and there is an energy that cannot be described. Jake did a medley of songs...I believe there was some Joni, Bob, Janis, and DMB in the mix...such a treat. Jake sang 'We Are', this is a special song as is, and something that holds a lot of meaning and emotion for me. Jake had Stewart Lewis come up to sing the harmony of 'We Are'...at the parts where Stewart sang, we as an audience, sang along...It was so indescribable, the feeling in the room, the sound of all our voices saying, believing that "we are NOT broken" And as soon as Jake heard us all singing along, his face, oh the look on his face was something I have never seen before, it was joy, accomplishment, love, heartache, beauty, real...it was so real."

What a beautiful night, filled with beautiful people and wonderful conversation. We all hung out afterward to just talk, laugh, and just be. I sort of wanted to just watch, to observe how Jake works. How he interacts with people that love and adore him! He handles it all gracefully and so genuinely. He truly is interested and takes in what you give to him. He listens and sees you with his heart. It was so nice to meet all the people that I 'met' through Jake. It made for a night of memories. Sleeping after all this was near next to impossible. I am sure that I caught a few zzz's in there. Sunday morning took Laura and I to Venice Beach, we were going to Santa Monica Pier, but went with Venice. It was really neat to see places that I have only seen in movies. I have never been to LA before this trip. It was a lot of fun. We drove by the high school where 'Grease' was filmed. I felt like a real tourist! Laura and I then met up with Cheri, Brigi, Shelly and Kurt at their hotel, which was beautiful, and waited for Jake. Jake showed up and we were able to spend some low-key time just talking and laughing with one another. Jake was showered with some very lovely gifts and we took it inside for more. Inside we all just talked and laughed. Jake and I shared a few moments and the night had to come to an end for me.

Jake did so much for me emotionally and helped in so many other ways. I don't know if he will ever understand how special he is to me and the place he has in my heart. There are so many words, some that have been spoken, some that cannot be spoken but all are known. This post does no justice to what this weekend meant for me and how I will cherish the moments that reside in my heart, that sustain me in the day to day tasks of living, surviving, fighting and loving. Til next time my friend Jake, til next time.