Update!!!!!

Wahoo! I am doing an update...let's see last time I blogged would have been May 1, 2010.

Well in May a lot of my life changed. My best friend moved back home to Oregon to help take care of her sister. Her sister was diagnosed with cancer and she has 4 boys at home. I really was sad when my best friend left. I really thought that I wasn't going to survive without her...but here I am into August and I am still alive. Since May I have also gone into a new phase of my life I guess. This is huge to put out there, but I believe that there is a reason that I am going through this. Maybe it is to help someone else, maybe it is just for me to better understand myself. I don't know for sure, but I am learning to just not question some things. I have been struggling with drug use for quite a while in my life. At the end of May, I decided to stop using. I went into a program that works on the 12 steps of recovery. Sort of like AA, but with a religious twist from the church I am a memeber of. I also started attending AA meetings and have done pretty good. It is a new thing in my life and I believe that it is working. I have met some very amazing people and will forever be changed in my life by just knowing these people. 

Some more big news came to me that has really affected me and my priorities in life. The doctors found a large mass on my Dad's kidney. He has surgery just yesterday to remove it and he came out of the surgery well. It kind of makes you re-think what is really important in life and in relationships. Somethings I am not ready to go into right now, but just wanted to write a little update. I am going to try harder to keep up on my blog. I really do enjoy writing. Till next time...

10 things that I believe in are...

• soul mates
• God
• unconditional love
• a great attitude
• families
• honesty
• seeing things through a child's eyes
• fate
• miracles
• the simple things

Let-downish...

Sometimes you have to fall flat on your back in a pit, only to look up and see all that you can accomplish...you see all the people that love you and support you...once you realize this isn't something you can do all alone...you need the others to help lift and raise you to your potential...but YOU have to get up and make the first move...throw your arm up and there will be more than enough hands to help you to your feet...YOU are worth it, and YOU ARE SO LOVED....believe it....I believe in YOU...and no matter how many times you fall, they are still there...just as you are there for them when they have fallen flat on their backs...it's give and take...it's beautiful and magical and breath-taking and real...open your eyes and see them, see me, see yourself at the top...

So They Say It's My Birthday....

 

They say it's my Birthday!! Well it is! What a year this has been. When I started my 30th year, I was surrounded by many friends and family. I was happy. I was living in Oregon, hanging out with my best friend in the world, Laura, and life was good. As I start my 31st year I can say that I am a very lucky person. I have the most amazing people in my life. I have my best friend Laura. I have my family, friends that keep me, not only going, but also smiling everyday. I have been blessed. 

In the few minutes left of my 30th year, I have learned a lesson. I have learned that I KNOW who I am!  I am good...or I am just handling life's little ups and downs better. There are a lot of changes, but they are good. I have faith that it'll all work out if that makes sense?  I keep waiting for the ball to drop and me freak out, but i don't think it is going to happen...I feel really strong and confident in who I am. I am tired of being stressed out or worried about how every little thing is going to affect me. I am just going to take things as they come. Do it all with a smile on my face, a prayer in my heart and love for others. Usually I can't really pin-point when I decide I am changing, or when something major is shifting within me. But I was able to really realize that I AM happy. I just decided to be happy. It is something that I have to maintain and can't let it get routine. It is worth it though. To be able to really take life and enjoy it. To be able to know who you are, to not make any more excuses to the world about who I should be or what I should be doing. 

Part 2

The first day of my 31st year has been a great day. It was a simple day, filled with birthday wishes from friends and family. Laughter, growth, smiles, and love with Laura and Shari. Relaxing and refreshing. Good food and great company. Enlightenment in my life and an understanding of so much. I couldn't have asked for a better day....and it ended on a very special note. One that will forever be in my heart. For I am loved, I have been missed and he reached out To hear his voice speak my name, after it feels like it has been forever. You know. I know. I am excited to see this next year unfold before me and all that is in store...who I will meet, who I will love, how I will grow...possibilities! Hope is what I can give...so please take it...and smile.

 

Faith...Amoung Other Things...

These are a few things that I have done for awhile. I really enjoy taking pictures and edit to how I feel at the time. These are just some of them. I have made them for Jake, friends and just to inspire and encourage myself. Laura made and created the two pictures of myself.